Grown Up

So this whole being a grown up thing...not what I thought it'd be. My strength is found right now in Philippians 4:4-8

"4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

There is so much here for me. 1st Rejoice in the Lord always. Always, not just when it feels right or is easy because things are going well but always.

2nd the Lord is near. Enough said there.

3rd Do not be anxious about ANYTHING but by prayer and petition WITH thanksgiving present your requests to God. And there it is again, I don't know about you but I can't give thanks with out rejoicing. It's kinda hard. And then after I've noticed all the things I have to be thankful for "magically" all the worries shrink. They're all still there. They all still beg for my attention. But they're not monsters any more. And that's a relief I can live on till they balloon back up and I have to deflate them again.

Every time I come to a new turn I think it's gonna be the answer and all the problems will be gone and it turns out that's not true. I just need to accept that I'm supposed to live my whole life dependant on God. Again, hard. So all that to say I got bumped up to full time at my job. And that is GREAT news but not quite the news that I thought it would be. The pay raise isn't that big. I'm not complaining we just still need more than what that raise will afford. And the insurance offered from my job is very affordable for me and very expensive to add my spouse. For me to have health and dental it's about 50/month. To add Jeremy is an additional 556/month. You read that right, and that's in American dollars. Also about a fourth of what I make a month. And more than our rent.

So problem NOT fixed...partially I guess. I feel very conflicted about what to do about all this. Do I need to keep looking for something else? Is Jeremy looking for another job the answer? That hasn't panned out so far considering his "temporary" job at Jimmy Johns has been his only job since we got here. Does none of that matter and we're supposed to just trust? And it wouldn't be so bad except he's the sick one. So...what to do, what to do...Pray with thanksgiving. Be anxious about nothing. And know that the peace of God, which surpasses our understanding, will GUARD my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. And that's where the battle is any how so. What have I to worry about?

PS we got a second vehicle. (I'll post a pic later Jeremy's at work right now :) ) It was a great buy and we're really happy with it. This was because I was supposed to be seeing kids and taking on a case load with my new full time hours. Which I'll still be doing for now.  I can't have kids jump on my moped with me! We'll see how it all pans out.

Till next time,

Xxoo



As promised, Voila!